It seems that no matter where we turn some are self-appointing themselves to ministry. Some are calling themselves prophets despite the fact that what they say does not come to pass and often is not predicated upon the Word of God. Others call themselves apostles even while they have no church homes and have planted no churches. Even more are simplistic in their self-anointing referring to themselves as ministers, evangelist or missionaries yet there are no signs following them, no one is brought into the Kingdom and the only missions fulfilled is the pulling together of the evening meal. Even more, many of these “ministers” are married and neglect to tend to the most important ministries of all, their spouses.
The reason the above groups are hypocritical at best is because they tend to ignore not only the Word of God but also the vows they have taken. If a minister is married, be that minister male or female, his first and primary ministry is to his spouse. There is no more important relationship other than that between Christ and the Church. As such the relationship between Christ and the Church as the example ministers need to follow in marriages. Too many marriages are falling apart in the Church because one spouse spends more time in “ministry” than actually ministering to the spouse. God is not pleased with this. In fact He is angered by those that choose not to honor His Word. Consider the words of Ephesians chapter five as it relates to marital relationships.
With this in mind consider just a few things the “minister” can do which are actually ministry. If you are on the phone with your best friend and your spouse has need of your attention the friend can wait. Hang up the phone and listen to the heart of your spouse. If the friend does not understand then the friend is not really a friend. And, do you have to go out with your friends every Friday night. What if that spouse wants to have a candlelight dinner with you? Will the answer be no? I should hope not. Wives need to understand what it means to be submitted to their husbands. Submission is a choice to honor and obey with all respect. It means not going behind his back when he has clearly made opposition to a matter rather it is giving him due as head of the house.
Now, it is certain that these words seem archaic in this modern society but much of the reason there are problems in households is because the wife often does not understand submission. It is not being a doormat but it is the intentional surrendering of selfishness in order to please the husband. It is the same thing that is required of the Christian in respect to Christ. It is not that the Christian is forced to serve Jesus rather he chooses to follow Jesus because of the love he has for his Deliverer. With this the husband is not excused from doing what is right. He is commanded to love his wife as Christ loved the church. This means that he will not ignore her needs rather will do all to meet those needs. He will not be her commander-in-chief but will be her leader and protector. His wife is not his servant rather she is his lover so that she walks with him and not behind him.
The point of this brief missive is simple: if you count yourself a minister and neglect your spouse in any way you are not a minister. You are a fraud because there is no greater ministry than ministry to your spouse.